FSJ (Fake Steve Jobs)
Pirms pāris gadiem internetā uzpeldēja viens blogs, kurš salīdzinoši īsā laikā kļuva diezgan populārs. Autors rakstīja blogu, kurā viņš aprakstīja Stīva Džobsa (tas čalis, kurš izgudroja iPodu) ikdienu humoristiskā manierē.
Lielākoties ietekmīgi cilvēki jau nevar spļaudīties ar viedokļiem, sabiedrība nepieņems, akciju cenas samazināsies un tāpēc ir vajadzīgi 13 sabiedrisko attiecību speciālisti, kuri to darīs tavā vietā.
Taču viltotais Stīvs Džobss raksta tā, it kā tiešām dažādi gadījumi ar palielu humora piedevu varētu būt notikuši Stīva Džobsa dzīvē. Piemēram, viens no agrīnajiem gabaliem skan šādi:
True story. One night Bono and I are driving up the 280 at like two in the morning in a rainstorm and this guy in a giant Lexus kind of swerves as he’s changing lanes, and almost hits us. Bono has got like this total Irish temper and plus he’s had a few and he’s like, Fook this, mate, I’m gonna stick this fooking Aston Martin up this fooker’s arse! So he floors it and in like a nanosecond we’re right on this guy’s rear bumper with our high beams on and then, I can’t believe it, Bono hits the guy. Just a tap, the first time, but we’re going about eighty and the Lexus starts fishtailing on the wet highway and the guy is freaking out, waving his arms, like Hey, what the frig! Bono starts cackling and he says, Hows dat fer a little taste of death, eh boyo? Then he pegs it and hits the guy again, harder this time, and then again, really smashing him, and the back of the Lexus crumples up like a tin can.
But here’s the kicker. We all pull over. The guy gets out, and he’s like got blood coming out of his eye sockets he’s so pissed. And then we open our doors and he sees who we are. It takes him like a few seconds to register it. Then he’s like, “Wait a minute, aren’t you — and aren’t you –” And we’re just standing there, like, Uh huh, yup, that’s right, and don’t you feel like the world’s biggest turd right now? And he’s all like, Dude, you scared the shit out of me! Ha! You guys are awesome! And like I’m soooo sorry about cutting you off, seriously, if I’d known, you know, who you were or whatever. And Bono says, Well, tink about dat next toim yer cuttin off some bloke and you don’t know who it is, right? Could be Jesus. Or Boutros Boutros-Ghali or sumfin.
The guy gives him this look, like Boutros who? Bootsie Collins? Huh? Friggin American, probably doesn’t know what the World Bank even is. Thinks it’s some band from South Africa or something. So he says, Seriously, whatever, dudes, I’m just totally sorry. And this is how totally classy Bono is. He goes over and shakes the guy’s hand, the rocker handshake with the thumbs up, and he says, It’s cool, man, seriously, apology accepted. And then Bono goes, Hey, look, and hands this guy his own personal iPod, the U2 model, in black. You keep it, he says. The guy looks at it for a second and he’s like, No friggin way. Like he just got a Cadillac from Elvis or something.
That’s who Bono is. He takes a moment that could turn ugly and he makes it into something really beautiful. That’s just how his processor is wired, you know? Class act. Totally.
Daudzi ārzemju blogeri ir sarakstījuši grāmatas, un Fake Steve Jobs nav izņēmums. Man patika viena nodaļa, un cerams, ka neviens neapvainosies, ja to klusiņām pārdrukāšu. Par menedžmentu:
Like everything else at Apple, my management approach is a little bit different. I never subscribed to the conventional wisdom of the East Coast management experts like Jack Welch. For example, Welch says do a lot of reviews and always let people know where they stand. I say, No way. In face, quite the opposite. Never let people know where they stand. Keep them guessing. Keep them afraid. Creativity springs from fear. Think of a painter, or a writer, or a composer working furiously in his studio, afraid he’s going to starve to death if he doesn’t get his work done. That’s where greatness comes from. [..]
Because you know what? Fear works. Look at the crappy cars that get made in Detroit, where nobody ever gets fired. Compare that to the stuff that gets made in Vietnamese sweatshops. [..]
The MBAs say you should set high standards, let people know what’s expected of them, and hold them to that. I do a little twist on that and say, Hold people to an impossibly high standard, but here’s the twist – don’t tell them what that standard is. And fire them if they fall short. You know what that does to people? Makes them crazy. And guess what? Crazy people are more creative. And more productive.
Another MBA rule that I never follow is where they say a CEO should be consistent and predictable. I say the opposite. Be inconsistent and unpredictable. Be random. One day say something is great and the guy who made it is a genius. The next day say it’s crap, and he’s a moron. Watch how hard that guy will work now, trying to impress you.
The best way to keep people’s spirits broken is to fire people on a regular basis for no reason. Fly off the handle, shout at people, call them names, then fire them. Or better yet, don’t fire them. Let them believe they survived for a few days. Then, when they’re relaxed, call them in and fire them. It’s all part of creating and maintaining the culture of fear.
Lielākā daļa no grāmatas ir sarakstīta apmēram šādā stilā, ir pilna humora un satīras. Bet vienīgi visas pārējās nodaļas ir vienu un to pašu joku atkārtojums, un nekā prātīgāka kā “Hey, I’m an egocentric maniac, smoke weed every day and I invented the frigid iPod, Have you ever heard of it” joku atrast nevarēs. Šis tas komisks parādās arī blogā http://www.fakesteve.net/.
